September 3, 2010
Being a One Cock Lady
I am poly, no doubt about it. I had casual sex with a lady friend last year without a regret or a second thought. But I find it more and more likely that I am a one cock lady nonetheless. It isn’t that I am disgusted by men or by the penis, or even that I don’t enjoy male attention. In fact, over the years I have had more male friends than female in general, and I’m happy with that. But whenever things start to look like they will head in the direction of intimacy, I get squeamish and start to lose interest. It took me a while to figure out why that was.
That’s not to say that I will never have sex with another guy. I really don’t know what will happen in the future, and there have been one or two extremely rare cases where a guy has had HUGE attraction for me. The fact that both of them looked a lot like my husband in several key features might or might not be relevant here. 
The fact is, you don’t have to want to sleep around to be poly. I may or may not enter a relationship with a woman eventually (I would like to, but I am SO BAD at knowing when women are flirting with me), and I probably will not date anymore men. I’ve given thought to closing our relationship given the fact that neither of us has much interest in seeking partners, but it feels like closing the door on some intangible wisp of a thing that is forming just over the horizon. I don’t know what the future holds, but for now, there’s just one cock for me.
twowives said,
September 6, 2010 at 5:23 am
I consider poly more about love than sex.
C Scott Morris said,
October 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm
Hi.
We find ourselves in the same situation. My have told my wife I am fine with her being with another man, but right now that’s not what she wants.
We share a Unicorn, and we are happy.
Nicol said,
October 16, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I was a one-cock lady for awhile myself. Being straight, this basically closed the doors on me dating anyone else. What I realized in that time is that my primary partner is so amazing and awesome that I didn’t want anyone else. My standards were really high. This was a good thing, as I was also pretty shell-shocked from dating a few losers in the past, so the idea of dating for the sake of dating struck me as both ridiculous and hurtful.
I’m very lucky because I have, recently, met someone that I am really excited about. He meets my standards and then some. He and my primary get along really well. I like his primary partner a lot. It all reminds me why I’m poly — and also why I draw a line between “poly” and “slutty.” Slutty is just dating around, sleeping around, because you have the ability to do so, because it’s fun, because you get a high on it. Poly and slutty overlap, but they are not the same thing.
It was worth the wait. It was worth feeling like I wasn’t searching, and didn’t need to search. It was worth not bending to pressure to date someone, anyone, just to prove I was poly. I am poly. And I am so lucky with what I have now.