January 22, 2011
More Love in Abundance
The third chapter is about self-examination and determining what kind of poly is right for you. You have to look really deep down inside yourself to figure it out, and answer some sometimes complex or confusing questions for yourself, and she gives you plenty of tools and the questions to ask to get you there. One thing she said did not resonate, however, and that was as discussed earlier on this blog: she mentions that it is basically the kiss of death to try to make a relationship work between a poly person and a monogamous person. As I have said and commenters have proven, that is just not true… but it does take a very special kind of mono person to get there.
For Michael and I, the questions came as the basis for poly for us, rather than to try to align ourselves once we had already slipped into a poly lifestyle. The rules were laid out before our first encounter, gone over many times and polished to remove the snags and conflicts. We wanted things to go well, and we had an idea of how hard it COULD be before we jumped in. For others who jump into poly without planning ahead, the transition can be that much more rocky.