September 3, 2010
I am poly, no doubt about it. I had casual sex with a lady friend last year without a regret or a second thought. But I find it more and more likely that I am a one cock lady nonetheless. It isn’t that I am disgusted by men or by the penis, or even that I don’t enjoy male attention. In fact, over the years I have had more male friends than female in general, and I’m happy with that. But whenever things start to look like they will head in the direction of intimacy, I get squeamish and start to lose interest. It took me a while to figure out why that was.
That’s not to say that I will never have sex with another guy. I really don’t know what will happen in the future, and there have been one or two extremely rare cases where a guy has had HUGE attraction for me. The fact that both of them looked a lot like my husband in several key features might or might not be relevant here.
The fact is, you don’t have to want to sleep around to be poly. I may or may not enter a relationship with a woman eventually (I would like to, but I am SO BAD at knowing when women are flirting with me), and I probably will not date anymore men. I’ve given thought to closing our relationship given the fact that neither of us has much interest in seeking partners, but it feels like closing the door on some intangible wisp of a thing that is forming just over the horizon. I don’t know what the future holds, but for now, there’s just one cock for me.