February 28, 2008

Dealing with Being Left Out Part II

Posted in Becky tagged , , , , at 10:50 am by Kathleen

So what did I do about the painful situation? I went home and waited. When my husband and his lover got home, we all went out again to Denny’s for ice cream. The talk was mostly pleasant and mostly between the two of them. I really wasn’t feeling chatty. It was actaully kind of amusing for me because we are regulars there for dessert and the waitress (who knows us) kept asking who Becky was.

When we got home, I went upstairs and Michael stayed downstairs for a while to say goodnight. We had a rather emotional talk about my feelings when he got upstairs, and he made his usual promise to “do better”. The problem, I think, is that if he doesn’t have a clearly defined limit, he has a hard time judging “too much time”, etc. We’ve since remedied that, but at the time it was an ongoing problem when he visited with family and friends.

The next morning they went out to breakfast together while I puttered around the house. I was honestly glad that Michael got to spend time with her, but I was also rather glad to see her backside when she finally left late that morning (around 11).





  1. Rori said,

    I’m definitely way too jealous of a girl to handle a poly relationship. I have a hard time even thinking about my master asking for a threesome. I do think that poly relationships are probably the most rational relationships in the world – how can you love just a single person you entire life – but at the same time, I just get really, really possessive. Something I have to work on, I guess.

  2. Kathleen said,

    Poly is certainly not for everyone. In fact, had you asked me one year ago I would have told you that it was also DEFINITELY not for me. I’ve always been possessive and clingy. It was my conscious decision to not be jealous anymore that led to poly, although it was not where I was expecting this to go!

  3. Jenny Block said,

    I feel very much like Kathleen does. If you had asked me five years ago, I would have said this poly way of life was only possible in one’s dreams. But here we are five years later and better than ever. It does take putting jealousy aside, but it also takes constant communication, understanding, and self-awareness. It’s that last part that can be extra tricky, at least for me. It’s not easy. But for us, it has been more than worth it. Never before have I ever loved or been loved so very much. I wish you all the best!

    Jenny Block

  4. Aimless In Love said,

    I stumbled upon this blog today (hence why I’m reading old entries) and I’m glad I did. I had a poly relationship FMF triad that went sour for all the common mistakes that people make and I’ve been struggling to understand polyamory and I’m glad to see that you are able to deal with this in such a mature manner and that you are so comfortable with yourself and your relationship to do it. I certainly realized (albeit the hard way) how much work it takes and I’m glad to be reading about it from someone who didn’t necessarily always feel this way.

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