March 18, 2008

She is Poly Therefore She must be Dissatisfied

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 7:08 am by Kathleen

Could anything be further from the truth?

So, I have membership on a free dating site.  I put my profile up because Becky was talking about how fun the quizzes are, and over the course of several months, I ended up with a pretty full profile.  Ok, fine.  Occasionally people contact me, and I am more than willing to chat.  It has the potential to make me a friend, and it might even lead to more, which is great.

A month ago, or so, I was contacted by a guy right at the high end of the age range that I am willing to consider dating.  I wasn’t interested in him, but he was polite and kept asking polite questions about poly, so I answered him as much as I could, trying to help him with his questions.  I felt ok about it, but I knew something else was coming.   Finally, it came.  He mentioned that he was going to go “poly”, but without his wife’s knowledge.  He was looking for someone who was as “sexually frustrated” as he was.  My response?  I don’t date cheaters and I am by no means sexually frustrated, so if that is the only reason you have been talking to me, you’re walking in the wrong direction.  He never decided to write back.

Sexually frustrated?  Come ON!  Actually, just this morning I was pinned down and… uh… anyway, I have a very fulfilling and very active sex life.  My husband and I both enjoy each other quite a bit, and we love spending time together.  He is my best friend, and I am his.  We take care of each other, we are careful to meet each others’ needs, and we are very much in love.

I am not poly because my husband doesn’t take care of me, I am poly because he does.  I am so confident in our relationship and its health that I feel like it can withstand us seeking the company of others for whatever reason we choose.  If he wants to have sex with another woman, I can trust that it won’t affect his love for me except perhaps for that love to deepen out of thankfulness.

Do I want to have sex with other people?  Cool!  I’m a sex addict, I think… I love sex!  If I love you, or even like you a lot, maybe you will become the second person I sleep with… but I won’t sleep with you if I don’t care about you, and I am NOT lacking in love at home… so don’t even TRY that line.





  1. D.T. Kelly said,

    Sadly, our society deems “different” as wrong.

    I’m not into people cheating. But if the COUPLE is okay with it, then why is it anyone else’s concern?

  2. Kathleen said,

    Thank you for that support. Different works for us, and we have been very happy together. Cheating, however, I do not condone.

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