March 19, 2008

Going Postal

Posted in Becky at 7:03 am by Kathleen

We were all (me, Michael, and Becky) hanging out in her home town last November, and when we were all in a store together, I pulled Michael aside and showed him something that I thought would be nice for Becky for Christmas. He distracted her while I bought it (and a handful of other things), and later I wrapped it with the rest of the gifts. Ironically, I was wrapping a couple of days after she dumped him. At that point I still kind of hoped that she would maybe change her mind. Michael never got a chance to give it to her, and that gift has been sitting on his dresser for months. Too many months.

More than once I have thought about throwing it away, but I hate waste and that would be purely wasteful and, in my eyes, purely spiteful, too. Still, I have been on a cleaning frenzy lately, and that is something that doesn’t belong in our house. So yesterday I attached a note that said it was a late Christmas gift and that since we had no plans to see her, I was sending it. I took it to the post office, stuffed it in a package, and said good riddance to the one piece of Becky that has been living in my house since last year. It is gone, and with it comes a sense of peace. Plus my house is that little bit cleaner.

I just realized something: I don’t want to hurt her. I used to, but now I really, truly don’t care about her. I don’t want her around me, but she isn’t my enemy and I’m not out to get her. I guess she just lost that power. Like taking the hair off of a voodoo doll, I have plucked her last bit of presence out of my life, and her power seems to be gone. Good.

Blessings,

Kathleen

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