March 31, 2008

Talking to Becky (Again)

Posted in Becky tagged , , , , , , at 7:06 am by Kathleen

I guess it was just last week that Becky sent me an IM thanking me for the Christmas gift. I replied that I was going to throw it away, but that I hate waste, and she thanked me again. Not the response I was going for. I was kind of annoyed that she was talking to me, and I pretty much just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) my rational mind doesn’t like to leave me alone, so I realized that talking to her would be the best therapy for me right now, particularly if she was willing to take me being bitchy at least at first.

She was, and more than that, she accepted responsibility for the breakup and apologized for causing such upset. For the first time, I might add. On the one hand I do not particularly like her, but on the other I have forgiven her, and that leaves me in a very neutral place. I mean, she fucked up royally which inclines me to not liking her, but she and I have a lot on common, which inclines me to the opposite. Long story short, I just don’t care. I will be nice (and she is interesting) when she emails or whatever, but I still have no intention or desire to seek her out. She is still not on my IM list, but she isn’t blocked, either.

She’ll be calling later to talk to Michael while I am away. She wants to explain the reason that she broke up with him since she JUST figured it out. That reason, in case you were curious, boils down to her being spineless. I suppose I should elaborate. She had just started interacting in a new way with her primary, but she didn’t want to talk about it to Michael, so she just went even more passive than normal and let him take complete control, which she ended up not enjoying. Instead of fixing it, she just ran.

I think she may want a second chance, but she may also be afraid to ask for it. Good. I hope that she never gets up the courage to ask. Michael has my permission to date her if that is what he feels he wants or needs to do, but he also knows that he will have to weight it against my not approving, and that I will not bend over backward to facilitate like I did before. If he decides to date her again, I want nothing to do with it. And I am not sure, but I still don’t think she will be welcome in my home.

~Kathleen

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