April 17, 2008

Next up in the Blog Chain!

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 7:21 am by Kathleen

I’m participating in this month’s blog chain again, and this one is all about new beginnings. One of my darling readers, Mada, talked about all of the new beginnings that came from moving from Wisconsin to Nebraska and back again, and also about wondering whether the grass is greener on the other side.

That comment really stuck out to me, since many people think that poly springs from “the grass is greener” syndrome. I am wondering nothing of the sort, in case you are interested. I am so amazingly happy with my husband that no other man has a chance of being first in my life except, perhaps, our son.

Poly truly has been a new beginning for us, though. It took our relationship in a direction that neither of us had ever predicted for ourselves. In fact, both of us shuddered at the very idea of poly only a few short years ago. I was really good at managing jealousy, but still jealous, and he saw no reason that he should share.

And then came the first of our new beginnings in the form of BDSM; suddenly I realized that I wanted to be submissive… indeed that I was submissive at my core, and the idea of a bit of emotional masochism/fun in the form of a threesome began to form.

The rest, as they say, is history, leading to a lot more new beginnings. There was our intro to poly with Becky, the beginning of Michael’s relationship, the beginning of coping for me when it ended, and so much more… and with poly, a wedding ring does not mean that you have had your last first date.

So let’s raise our glasses to new beginnings and maybe even many new relationships as we head to Livinsanity for the next link in the chain, as seen below:

Auria Cortes

Polenth’s Quill

Unfocused Me

Spittin’ (out words) Like a Llama

Food History

Life In Scribbletown

For The First Time

Polyamory From the Inside Out



A Wayward Journey

Virtual Wordsmith



  1. Auria Cortes said,

    I love first dates. Just love them.

  2. freshhell said,

    I don’t ever think I’ve had anything that would be considered a “first date.” I’ve been with my husband almost 20 years. Back in high school, we used to “date” in packs, like hormonal wolves.

  3. Donna said,

    If it makes you happy then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it. I’m way too jealous to do any of that, to share in a relationship. Maybe things will change but at this point, mine mine mine!

  4. Kathleen said,

    I was grounded most of high school… often for sneaking out to meet with my husband and talk. 🙂

    I was quite a jealous person to begin with, and highly insecure. As my security in myself and in my husband grew, so did my tolerance for stuff like this. 🙂

  5. Polenth said,

    I’ve never been into the dating scene, but new friend relationships are always a good thing.

  6. I kind of feel like Donna…”mine, mine, mine!” 🙂 But, like she said, it’s wonderful that you’ve found a lifestyle that makes you feel comfortable and happy, which is the most important balance to find in your life.

  7. Nancy said,

    Given the fact that my little family travels on bikes all over tarnation as a family unit, I can’t see how a poly lifestyle would work for us – but I’m really happy it seems to be working for you!

  8. Kathleen said,

    Hi Nancy, and welcome!

    If poly is something that you really want, then you can make it work. For example, you probably know where you are going to be, if not when. By using the Internet to connect with people in the places that you will be riding through, you may be able to arrange meetings with friends and lovers ahead of time, all across the Americas. You and your husband could take turns heading out alone once every few weeks.

    Of course, it doesn’t sound like you are interested, and that is fine too. The goal of this blog is understanding, not conversion. Blessings and love!


  9. Mary Lewis said,

    One of the coolest and most exhausting things about relationship beginnings is the high that comes with them. New relationship energy is like mainlining cocaine. Luckily, as the relationship becomes more established, some of the high lets up.

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