May 17, 2008

Poly from Michael’s Eyes

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , at 7:50 am by Kathleen

When we were talking about sex and my feelings about my body and his ownership of me, Michael and I also spent some time talking about poly in general.  He asked me what poly meant to me, and I stopped to think about it and told him that I still think it is about trust, and about the lack of trust that would be expressed, even if it is not felt, should we close the marriage.  By that I mean, closing the marriage, to me, would feel like telling him that I don’t trust him anymore.

I really liked Michael’s answer to his own question, though.  He said that for him, poly was about allowing ourselves the freedom to be ourselves with anyone we meet.  Now, I’ve always been a huge flirt, and I promised Michael before we got married that it was unlikely to change, but that I would never cheat.  Only now, if I wish, I can feel free to take that flirting further (or to hold up my be-ringed hand if I want a guy to back off 😉 ).

And he has that same freedom.  He never really learned how to flirt, but he is teaching himself now, being more outgoing, making more friends in his activities, and smiling at strangers.  On the one hand it scares me just a little bit.  On the other… it’s wonderful to see him open up like this and blossom.

So as scary as poly gets, I’m not ready to jump ship yet.





  1. stamperdad said,

    Great post. Most interesting. A question for Michael.

    Michael you have actually dated and had sex with another woman. How would you truly feel if and when Kathleen actually does the same. I know it’s hard to answer that until it happens.

    It sounds like you won’t have anything to worry about at all. She obviously loves you very much.

  2. Kathleen said,

    Hi Steve! I can answer for him (I’ll ask, but he doesn’t seem interested in posting here), in that he has told me that he really doesn’t feel any jealousy at the idea of my having sex with others, and he has been present during some heavy petting (when I was suspended at the dungeon, the rigger who had me tied up was also enjoying some touching) and had no problem with it at all.

    He has said that he will obviously have to experience it to know for sure, but he doesn’t seem like he will be too affected.


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