May 29, 2008

Writing the Kinks Out

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 2:18 pm by Kathleen

No you sickos, that’s not what I meant.  I guess that the time has come to stand up, stretch, and work the kinks out of this blog before I plow on.  I’ve gotten some responses that were not just negative (because negative I can handle), but which are downright RUDE.

So before I start again with some real, juicy poly content for you all, I want to say this: I don’t care if you disagree with me.  In fact, some of my favorite discussions on this blog by far have been with Auria, who disagrees with a lot of what I say and demands clarification or defense of other things.  The key is that she is respectful about it.  I have a big problem with people who tell me flat out that I am wrong/bad/misguided, and it is even worse when it comes from poly people who decide that I have it “wrong”.

There are as many kinds of poly as there are poly people.  This is my version, and this blog is an outlet for my thoughts.  If something is “always” a particular way (like the definitions of words like “triad”), then I will tell you so.  If not, I am pretty good at adding phrases like “I think” and “I feel” to describe MY OWN EXPERIENCES.

I use a pen name for safety and for my career’s sake, but other than that… this is my LIFE.  I am not some computer attempting to define a lifestyle, I am living it, and this is what I’ve learned.

And to the rest of you lovely and wonderful people… thank you for sticking with me.  I promise something better tomorrow. 😉





  1. Auria Cortes said,

    “In fact, some of my favorite discussions on this blog by far have been with Auria…”

    I’m glad to hear that. I stopped asking questions because I didn’t know how you were taking them. I didn’t want you to consider me a “troll.”

    “…who disagrees with a lot of what I say and demands clarification or defense of other things.”

    I am bossy. 🙂 If I were in a D/s relationship, I’d definately be the D. ::wink::

    Seriously though, I honestly don’t hold judgment about your poly relationship. I think (hope) you know that. I believe the nonjudgment allows me to take the information you provide and trust you at your word. Sometimes I ask questions because, as you say, I want clarification. But once you clarify, I don’t challenge your feelings. I’m not in your heart.

    I think you have done a wonderful job in explaining that you are new to the poly experience and that you are taking us along your journey. I LOVE that about your blog because we get to share in your insecurties as well as all the positives (even some of the insecure moments, as you have described in the past, have turned out positive). In a way, this is reality blogging (equivalent to reality tv, but without the negative connotation).

  2. rosemerry said,

    I love your blog. It is so different from my world view without being demeaning, rude, or negative.

  3. stamperdad said,

    Stick to your guns. Being negative for the sake of being negative is very childish.

    Admire and respect your honesty and openess. Although I am happy beyond saying in my present relationship, there were times, not that long ago when I wasn’t. People judged me for that and the “alternative” lifestyle I was taking part in at the time. I say to hell with what others think. You gotta do what you gotta do for your own happiness. As you live life things change and we grow from it.

    I always learn from reading the excellent blogs of others, such as yours.
    Good thoughts for you.


  4. T said,

    You tell ’em hun! LOL

    Seriously, i enjoy your blog immensely, i don’t usually comment, but thats how i am, and we talk on IM, so i do let you know what i think….

    Always remember some people are always gonna have rude things to say, its all they know and all they want to know. Some other people just don’t understand and want to, so they are generally polite about it, while others don’t understand and don’t care to, and feel they are superior so leave rude stuff..

    Having said that, keep writing, keep sharing your life with us, and to hell with them that can’t and won’t take the time to try to understand poly and all of its variations.

    You, my dear, are much braver than i am, as i don’t think i could have a blog and try to share my life of poly, 24/7 M/s, marriage,bisexuality, and all the aspects of who and what i am….

    i admire you for this.

    and i am always here/ there if you need to talk.


  5. Aaron said,

    I agree with Auria and think that asking for clarification is fair but ultimately this blog is about you and your life. People who want to be negative just to be right have no place here. I’m glad you’re calling out those who are detracting from your writings. BTW, I find your blog interesting and your feelings genuine. It’s always an interesting read when I come here.

    Keep up the good work.

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