May 30, 2008

Getting Territorial

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 9:16 am by Kathleen

First off, I just want to thank all of you for the support.  You’re all reminding me why I started this blog.

This is not about a new jealous episode (sorry) but more about dealing with the insecurities and tough feelings that I have been having. I want my husband to be happy, but at the same time I also want him to love me soooooo much that he doesn’t want or need anyone else. That’s just an emotional thing. In my head I know that he loves me pretty much as much as it is possible to love another person, but that doesn’t mean that his love for me will squish out his feelings for everyone else in his life.

I don’t really want him not to learn about, explore, or even love other people. It’s a war of my head and heart, and this is why I tell you that I was not born poly, and if I was, social conditioning sure has buried it deep. Still, it is something that I see as worth working on in myself. I think it will get easier… especially as I have had a date with someone, even if it didn’t lead anywhere.

Blessings,

Kathleen

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5 Comments »

  1. Jenny Block said,

    I just wanted to say again how much I enjoy reading your blog. It is so nice to hear real experiences from a real girl!

    Best,
    Jenny Block
    Author of “Open: Love, Sex, and Life in Open Marriage”

    http://www.jennyonthepage.com

  2. Yea, I think I have a bit of the same problem. Stuck in between that needing to say something but not knowing how phase. What’s worse is that I don’t even know if there IS someone else, but the thought is killing me. Do you think it’s better just to know?

  3. Kathleen said,

    Hon, I think you may have misunderstood… we’re poly, and that means we date other people sometimes with knowledge and consent.

  4. No, I understand poly. But just because he can doesn’t mean he always has someone else or is in another relationship too. What I wonder is if it’s better to know when there’s a certain someone else or just to not know anything about the others.

  5. Kathleen said,

    I see… I always prefer to know what is going on. My husband and I talk quite a bit, and I know pretty much everything that is going on in his life, and he knows pretty much everything about mine. Not every relationship needs or even could handle that level of sharing, but we both enjoy it.

    We’re actually both “single” right now, and there is no one else of any real interest to either of us, but it’s nice to think about still, and I still love to flirt. I know that he thinks a girl he knows is cute, and knowing that will help me to feel more comfortable if he ever decides that he wants to date her (although he has said that he’s not really interested in dating her).


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