May 31, 2008

Good Night

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , at 5:59 am by Kathleen

Last night was a good night for me.  We talked about poly and kink and more important, my month-long feeling that I want to be alone with him and kind of cut off the world.  As we were talking, I was thinking of the huge amounts of negative news that is coming my way – way more than I normally get – and it has probably been affecting me.

The more I see stories of people losing everything, of an identical house down the road selling for HALF what we bought ours for three years ago, and of food prices rising and continuing to rise (not to mention the supposed breakdown of society that is coming because of a lack of oil), the more I want to pull in and be safe.  I want to just hide away, close us off, and go back to when things were simple.  BDSM and poly do NOT make things simple.

I realized as I was talking that these things affect me, but they shouldn’t.  I need to be strong and brave, and, oh yeah, I need to learn to shield better to keep the news out of my soul.  Ick!

I also realized that a part of my discomfort might come from feeling like being with another man would be turning my back on my husband.  Since I don’t want to do that, and since I don’t want him to EVER turn his back on me, I may have a subconscious block to dating.  We’ll see what happens… awareness is the first step.





  1. livininsanity said,

    These things SHOULD affect you. The ills of metropolitan sprawl and dependence on gasoline are ills wrought by our predecessors that need to be undone. Only if we let them affect us, can we have the desire, need and power to create change.

  2. Kathleen said,

    I disagree. I think that I should be aware of these things, but there is no reason, NONE, to let them make me miserable.

    I buy locally grown produce and hardly go to the grocery store. I pay what I need to for gas, but I have a car with EXCELLENT mileage and I drive in a way that makes it get even better mileage. And as for urban sprawl, well, that isn’t going to go away until you convince people to stop having babies.

  3. Aaron said,

    I think that the reason these things are affecting you could be that it’s affecting everyone and bringing down the morale of the nation as a whole. We’re all coming down off this high of the 90’s-2000’s and ‘living large’. There’s so many issues going on right now that even if you don’t participate in the ‘downers’ you are still around people who do.

    I think that in times like these it’s best to be thankful for what we have and learn we can live with what we got. Life goes on without SUV’s and Starbucks.

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