June 16, 2008

What is this Dating thing?

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 7:28 am by Kathleen

I was not popular in high school. In fact, I spent a lot of high school in single handed war against the popular crowd, and I was certainly holding my own. It helped that there was so much infighting on their end. 🙂

Even still, I never went looking for boys, yet I never seemed to lack interested ones. I would be asked out, or find a boy that I liked and ask him out, and then there would be a couple of months (usually) of hanging out at school, maybe kissing, and on a couple of occasions a little bit more. There was no sex until Michael, although I came close with my last boyfriend before him… I also spent much of high school grounded for bad grades (because I hated homework and didn’t care), so “dating” consisted mostly of making out at lunch time. Exciting.

I got engaged to Michael when I was 17, so I never really had an “adult” dating relationship. I never felt like I missed out or anything – I still don’t – but it does leave me a little confused. How do adults date? How do we decide when we’re dating or not? Is it cutesy like high school (“Will you be my girlfriend?”) or is it more casual… like, we hang out four times and kiss, so we’re dating? And even more confusing, I am not looking for exclusivity or marriage or any of those things, so… well, you get the idea.

Ah, well… maybe I can snag Red for some fun on Saturday… maybe we’ll just sit and talk… hell, maybe someone else will want to play with me. I know she and I will be at the same party, and I guess we take it from there. Heh, I feel like such an amateur! 🙂




  1. Auria Cortes said,

    The following is my dating experience.

    Dating defines itself. If you go out with someone a few times then you are dating that person. Sex or kissing doesn’t have to be part of the equation. Also, dating doesn’t imply exclusivity.

    The discussion of needs and wants happens right away. So there is no confusion.

    “Will you be my girlfriend” doesn’t happen in adulthood. It’s more like: “Maybe it’s time for us to stop seeing other people. Or, “I don’t have the desire to see other people. How about you?”

  2. Kathleen said,

    I guess maybe I will figure out more on Saturday when I see Red next. Dating sure is interesting. 😛

  3. Auria Cortes said,

    It will be interesting to find out if Saturday leads to a date, for sure. Does Red read this blog?

  4. Kathleen said,

    Auria, she has the address, but to my knowledge she does not actually read it, at least not yet. She HAS indicated that at some point she vaguely plans to, but she also told me that she would intentionally avoid it if I wanted her to, so that I would not censor myself.

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