May 21, 2009

Online Dating…

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 6:00 pm by Kathleen

Many of my readers have heard me say that I have profiles on several dating sites. I may or may not have mentioned that I have put “looking for friendship” as the setting on all of them, and that I state in each profile that I am not actually looking for a partner, but feel free to message me if you want to make friends. I don’t get a lot of messages, and the ones that do contact me tend to do so after seeing my photo and stopping there. For the record, I have average facial features, I think, curly blonde hair, color changing eyes that mostly show up blue or green in photos, a decent figure, and a C cup.

Early this morning I logged onto, which has an interesting message board forum and a decent community of people. I noticed with some surprise that I had an email, and went to read it. It said “Hey there wanna chat?” (bad grammar his)

I clicked on his profile, already pretty sure due to the generic nature of the message that he had not bothered to look beyond my photo in the profile. When I read his, I discovered that he lives on the opposite coast, is a single, divorced male, and is looking for a single female or, if he’s really lucky, a pair of women to eventually become a MFF triad (that means two women and one man). He puts somewhere on there that married is acceptable but not preferred. Oh, and he is just old enough to have fathered me. My own profile CLEARLY states that I am not interested in men old enough to have fathered me, and actually draw the line at 15 years older at the most. He is 19 years older than I am.

I sent him back a polite, short note that said “I am not what you are looking for, but I wish you luck.” His reply (unnecessary after a rejection in my humble opinion), was “So what I think you are say is that you are not interested?” I take this as an implication that my refusal to chat with him and really get to know the real him before I made up my mind is incredibly rude. That may be, but only I can know what I need in my life, and another extra man doesn’t really fit the bill, especially not one across the country. I already have a few potential lovers across the country if I really want them, but it is too much effort for me where I am at in my life.

This, then, is my response to his silly “question” about my interest.  “What I am saying is that you didn’t bother to read my profile. I am not looking for a boyfriend, I am not interested in older men, I live nowhere near Ohio, and honestly, based on YOUR profile (which I read) I don’t think you would find me very interesting either. Except perhaps my chest, which I assume is what prompted you to message me. I was being polite. We are not compatible.”

Ok, maybe I am a bitch. Or maybe I am just tired of people not reading my profile. 🙂
Blessings, and thanks for reading!




  1. caztatroy said,

    I think your initial reply was fair enough. No-one should take offence (or push the point) when they get such a polite and simple “thanks but no thanks.” response. I think being a bit of a wise-ass after his second reply wasn’t that unreasonable as sometimes people need a bit of that to get the message.

    However I wouldn’t be too hard on the “wanna chat” simple messages. I think (and have used it myself) on some sites as a bit of a testing of the water , usually where I think I have something that might interest someone but don’t exactly fit what they are looking for. In that scenario, your simple.. good luck but you;re not what I;m after” type reply is perfectly reasonable.

    • Kathleen said,

      I almost always repond politely to “wanna chat” messages, but I also do not spend much time with people who can’t be bothered to create a reasonable introduction based on SOMETHING in my profile. Obviously they found me interesting, but I would much rather see “I see we both love X-Files” than “Nice tits!” Which I feel is implied every time I get an impersonal hello from a totally incompatible (usually older) man.

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