May 29, 2009

Drama, but not in a Bad Way

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , at 12:00 pm by Kathleen

I like to joke that I am allergic to drama. I usually avoid gossip, I don’t start things behind people’s backs, and I am upfront and frank rather than scheming and manipulative. It makes like easier and happier, I have found.

Some drama is not about scheming crazy people, though. This week has been a lot of drama with Rae, but it isn’t contrived crap, it is real and emotional, and there is something deeply fulfilling for me when I can provide real advice or do good for her. Having been there, right where she is now, I understand. I had the self esteem issues, the anxiety, the depression… It sucks. A lot. But there is a lot of good that can be done by people who care, and who aren’t afraid to push the real issues to the fore.

She kept apologizing to me last night for dumping on me in a way that, she told me, she does not do with anyone else except Rob. I don’t think she could have possibly known that she was dumping on me because I was intentionally triggering her to do so. She was very upset, and she needed a vent. I have a really unusually good understanding of the human mind and especially of the mind-emotion balance, and I really, really love playing with that knowledge. (I used to go to therapists who would ask me what they thought were probing questions, and I would be confused because I had already considered those questions and more. It frustrated both of us.)

Anyway, I think I made her feel a little better. And then I contacted Rob and told him to do something that made her feel much better. It is really hard to figure out when you are butting in too far, especially when you know you can help. I asked him not to tattle on me, but she asked me specifically this morning if I was behind the conversation they had, and I try very hard not to lie to people. I was relived that she was not angry, but even if she was I think it would be worth it to have made her life easier in that way. It took a lot of stress off of her, and while I know that it is not a cure for her anxiety issues, it will at least mean that she will have to trigger on something less painful and destructive for now. I’m a little worried, but mostly I just want to make sure she’s ok. And I think she will be. Besides, she’s got Rob, and he’s a great dude.




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