June 5, 2009

The Successful Unicorn Hunter

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , at 11:13 am by Kathleen

The following is from my own head, not an actual ad. It depicts what I think a more sucessful ad might look like, especially as compared to yesterday’s humorous personal ad.

Dear World, Kathleen is an athletic woman with an interest in fire dancing and performance that is shared by her husband, Michael. She is a work at home mom of a small child, but we have plenty of sitters and spending time with her does not mean spending time with a baby, at least not all of the time. She has a wide range of interests, from cooking and gardening to rock climbing and white water rafting, and is a huge fan of theater from both sides of the stage. A new friend or partner who enjoys water activities would be especially welcome, since these are things that Michael does not particularly enjoy.
On the sexual side of things, Kathleen is a switch in the bedroom, but kinky behavior is not for everyone, and we don’t feel the need to impose it on people who are not interested in participating. We both move slow, sexually, so please don’t be hurt by the fact that we kiss and cuddle but don’t jump into bed (although Kathleen is most likely to jump you). Please note that Kathleen is allergic to cigarette smoke. We respect your right to indulge, but please respect her right to breathe. Asthma attacks do not feel good, and we much prefer to feel good.

Michael is a very active person, but also very quiet and a bit shy. He enjoys playing pool for the strategy aspects, which is probably also why he loves chess. Do you play a good game? Kathleen is not a chess fan! 🙂 Michael has recently begun leaving his shy ways behind to organize pool games with friends, and to start a small club of sorts that meets once a week. He prefers hiking to kayaking, Kathleen’s preference, but both enjoy the outdoors in lots of different ways. He enjoys performing with Kathleen in fire dance, although he enjoys the physical challenge more than the attention, and has recently taken up Parkour, which is very exciting for him. There is nothing like getting a new move just right!

We are looking for a woman who might be interested in some of the same things that we are, from being outside to movies to sitting at home playing games. You don’t need to love everything we do, that’s what we have each other for, but experiences only get better with the sharing, we believe. We have been married for four years, and have one son with no immediate plans for more. We enjoy various activities several nights a week, often not together, and would welcome new companionship at any of them. While we know that you can’t force love, we prefer a triad arrangement, although individual dates with each of us only make good sense! We would love to meet new people, date a few, and make lots of new friends along the way. Perhaps if we’re lucky, we may even find The Woman that loves us both and that both of us love.
We are open to the idea of a poly fi arrangement, but you will not be expected to drop relationships or commitments, nor do we want you to change for us. Married women, women with children, or women with other partners are welcome, and your partners will not be “drafted” into our circle unwittingly.

This is just an example, and some of our information has been changed so that we’re not so easy to recognize. Nor are we especially looking for a woman to date together. The last bit was hard for me to write, as I am not used to thinking in that way. I mean, in our case, if something didn’t work out with one of us, the other would likely continue to date the hypotetical “her”. Anyway… thoughts on the hypothetical ad? I’d LOVE to hear them!





  1. caztatroy said,

    Loved it. Has inspired me to go look at the profiles I have out there and think about being a bit more creative in how I communicate.

    • Kathleen said,

      Good! More open minded, kindly worded personal ads and profiles int he world cannot be a bad thing! 🙂

  2. teahead said,

    Any ads of actual unicorns looking for couples? I think that’s more rare than unicorns themselves!

    • Tam said,

      That statement is so so true. But yet we still keep hunting….. ❤

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