June 14, 2009

I need a Nap

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:33 pm by Kathleen

It has been an up and down weekend. We made plans and then cancelled them 4-5 times before the weekend even got here for a wide range of reasons, so it was kind of confusing to get to Saturday and have nothing to do. In fact, I spent part of the day sort of anxious because I felt like we were late for something. After that I started getting restless and cranky. We figured out sometime before the day was out that topping Rae was sort of like opening up a door – I had never topped anyone before, and now my toppy urges/needs are no longer locked securely in Pandora’s Box, so I am feeling very strange.
Michael offered to let me top him, but it doesn’t work for me. I am a switch, but he isn’t just a toppy person, he’s Master. Plus, I like things (like pain) that he does not, so I would either have to hold myself back quite a bit or do things to him that he did not enjoy, neither of which appeal to me at all. I actually felt worse after he offered, but we snuggled and felt better.

Today was another angsty day, but I think this time it was because of the steadily growing mass of plastic toys all over the house. The baby likes to spread his blocks to and fro, and you can’t move without stepping on them. Michael and baby went to hang with some family tonight, and I went on a housewide cleaning spree (more of a picking-up spree). I feel better now. But I still want to hit someone.




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