September 4, 2010

What is Romantic Love?

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 10:40 pm by Kathleen

Today I was reading something and realized that the definition of polyamory depends quite a bit on your definition of romantic love. Some people, for example, see romantic love as not just a feeling or emotion, but also a commitment to one person. Obviously, this definition of love puts a damper on the concept of polyamory as love between more than two people.

To me, romantic love does actually involve commitment, but not necessary an exclusionary commitment. Loving someone romantically doesn’t, in my opinion, have to exclude other romantic love feelings any more than loving both of your parents excludes the possibility of loving step-parents.

Romantic love for me is a feeling first and foremost, not just of affection, which generally comes with friendship before the romance forms, but also of a certain commitment to prioritize that person’s feelings. I guess it sounds unromantic when put that way, but affection and love are easier to come by than we like to assume. Passion may be another story, but while passion has a place in romantic love, it doesn’t make love, nor is it even necessary.

So how do you define romantic love?


1 Comment »

  1. twowives said,

    Romantic love is turning off the television, putting down the book and going to bed to cuddle and talk.

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