January 23, 2011

The Rules

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:56 pm by Kathleen

Since it came up yesterday, I thought I’d post our current rules for the world to see. Oh, and some of our rules are actually requests. Not ‘you have to X’, but ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d X’. As you’ll see:

* Casual sex is permissible. Use a condom, have the sex talk, and do whatever else you think prudent to keep things as safe as humanely possible.

* If you plan on entering into a long term relationship with someone, you have to introduce them to the SO, preferably before things get sexual.

* If you plan on entering into a long term relationship, you and the new partner must get tested for everything before sex happens. (Unless the relationship started with casual sex. See above. In that case, you should both get tested ASAP.)

* Always use a condom, even with a long term SO. If the relationship becomes primary or otherwise Very Important, this can be negotiated.

* Respect my space. If either of us brings a partner home, be respectful of the SO and their personal space (this is less of an issue now that we have separate bedrooms and I don’t have to be worried about being kicked out of my own room.)

* If you have a problem, TALK ABOUT IT.

I think that’s basically it… getting tested is the big one, and being careful if you want to have casual sex (neither of us is casual sex people, but we left it open just in case). Any rules you agree or disagree with, or would add? Please share!



  1. Myrddwn said,

    We don’t rules per se, rather, we each know what the other is comfortable with, where our limits are. I should say the three of us, as we are in a triad right now.
    Me, my wife and our shared Unicorn. The wife and I are exclusive with each other and our girlfriend, she chooses to see other people, and we are fine with that. I mean, I get to curl up with my wife every night, the GF doesn’t, so who am I to tell her who she can, and can’t see?
    She uses protection with all her other partners, as a courtesy to us. And all three of us get tested regularly.

  2. Myrddwn said,

    Oh, and the rule about TALKING ABOUT PROBLEMS is a good one. Perhaps the most important one.

  3. Inferno said,

    Your rules seem like common sense to me.

    • Kathleen said,

      They seem like it, sure, but it’s amazing how many people skip over the hard parts or pretend there isn’t a problem. It comes back to bite ya!

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