March 22, 2011

Not What I thought

Posted in Matt tagged , , , , at 10:55 am by Kathleen

I hadn’t thought about Matt and our failed relationship for months until about a month ago (maybe more) I had a totally random dream about him in which I ignored him while shopping in a store that he owns. He confronted me about ignoring him, and I said he was beneath my attention, and that I’d let him know if I needed help with my purchases, but I didn’t have anything else to say to someone with no balls. Hey, it’s a dream, I can be a bitch if I need to!

I’ve thought about him a bit off and on, and wondered how I’d react to hearing from him now, or contacting him. I was afraid there would be a lot of anger or resentment, and I wasn’t sure how I felt, still, about the way our friendship (not so much the relationship) ended. And then yesterday I got a spam message from his email. I sent him a polite note back to let him know he’d been hacked (I always figure better to get swamped with messages to that affect than to have all of your friends assume someone else will tell you). He sent a message back that was probably a “form” message to his entire inbox, basically thanking me for my concern, letting me know he’d been hacked and the steps he’d taken, and apologizing for the messages. Impersonal, professional letter.

And I felt nothing. No hurt when I saw his name in my inbox, no problem being distant in the communication about the problem… he’s like anyone else I don’t know well or don’t have a relationship with, no hurt or sentiment attached, apparently. It’s nice to know, and it isn’t what I thought it would be.

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