May 25, 2009

OMG A Date that went WELL! (And Lots of Firsts!)

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 7:15 pm by Kathleen

This weekend I discovered through first hand, personal experience that:

a) I am definitely bi-sexual

b) I am definitely a switch

c) Sex with other women is indeed both desirable AND fun in an entirely different way than sex with Michael is

d) By extension of item c, I have also confirmed that I am definitely poly.

I had a lovely play date with Rae and Robert, and fun was had all around. The first half was mostly kinky play and not very sexual (I mean, there was kissing and caressing, but it was not “having sex”, it was just play). Afterward we all piled up for a group snuggle, and… well, someone got frisky… I’m not even sure WHO got frisky at first, but we quickly devolved into a writhing mass of limbs. It was very sexual and not very play-y, and more fun was had.

I didn’t actually have sex with Rob, especially since neither of us had talked about the possibility, but I did have sex with Rae and Rob and Rae also had sex while I petted, played, kissed, and eventually flogged. Oh, flogging Rae while she was having sex with Rob… HOT. Rae, thank him again for the flogging lesson for me, would ya? 🙂

I am really comforted that it seemed like all three of us had a really good time. Rae was also really excited, since it was her first poly experience and her first bi experience as well. We went for food afterward, and she was expressing how nice and how surprising it was to her that she just had “casual sex with a casual acquaintance” and that nothing was strange or uncomfortable. There was, as she put it, no loss of possibility. We could still be friends, fuck buddies, or play partners, or lovers, and nothing was off limits or totally crazy just because we had sex. And best of all, there were three very happy people in the car, and no one was angry about any of it. Whee!

Fun note: The first and only time Michael had sex with Becky, it was on our couch, and I was upstairs in bed. This weekend, while we were playing and having sex, it was in their bed, and Michael was asleep on the couch. Symmetry makes me smile.




April 9, 2009


Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 12:34 pm by Kathleen

There are a lot of people in the poly world (and you often notice them first, because they are the ones waving the banners) that believe that being poly is like a sexual orientation – you are born with it, and that’s the way it is. That’s true. For THEM. But some of us, myself included, never felt that pull. We never cheated in early relationships, dealt with serial monogamy, or “dated around”, and yet here we are carrying the title of Polyamorous with sincerity and sometimes even pride.

I never imagined a polyamorous life before I found it, nor do I crave it even now. For me, the decision to remain poly has more to do with the fact that there is not a compelling reason not to as anything else. Born to be poly? I think not. I could happily go back to monogamy and be just as comfortable and just as pleased with where my life has taken me. The more I thought on this, the more it seemed to me that being “on the fence” as I am is a lot like being bisexual. I could be with a man, or I could be with a woman. I don’t feel the need to exclude the idea of either, much as I do not feel the need to exclude the ideas of poly or monogamy from my life. I call this state of being, bi-polyamorous.

Do any of you feel the same way? Do you have similar experiences with poly? Maybe you even had your own name for it? Please do share!



April 20, 2008

Anybody Want a Date?

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , at 9:35 am by Kathleen

So, this is something that I am kind of curious about…  Where the heck do people find people to date?  I mean, I connected with two guys last weekend by some insane miracle, but neither of them even bothered to email me back anyway…  so WHERE do you find guys (or girls… whichever) to enjoy?  And more importantly, how do you find people who are okay with the fact that you are married?

This has been puzzling me for a while now, so feel free to jump in anytime.


April 19, 2008

What is a Unicorn?

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 10:39 am by Kathleen

A unicorn is a mythical beast with a horn 😉  It also refers to a pretty and otherwise dateable bi female who is willing to date a couple.  A lot of women are sort of okay with poly, but only if “we share”, making it really hard for the guy to find someone.  I mean, what are you supposed to say? “Wow, you look really interesting, can I bring you home to meet the wife?”

Unicorns are easier to find in poly circles or swinging circles, but not MUCH easier; it’s hard enough to find a great girl to date when you are single, much less when you have a whole laundry list of added requirements.  So that, my friends, is a unicorn.  Thanks for askin’.  🙂


April 18, 2008

Girly Sex?

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 7:16 am by Kathleen

I’m pretty sure I’m bi.  I have no problem with the idea of making out with a woman, or dating one, or any of that lovely stuff.  There is a problem that I have with being attracted to pretty women who make me feel like a boy in comparison (not the sexiest feeling) but I think that my biggest hangup has been the idea of girly sex.

I love sex.  Love, love, love it.  And one of the things that I love about it is feeling my husband (I say this since I have not ever had sex with anyone else, yet) inside me, filling me.  Toys are just NOT the same, so how could I possibly have sex with a woman?  The answer comes from my friend, T.

She told me that girly sex is not about “lesbian lovin'”, but about two women enjoying and appreciating each other.  Suddenly I can stop thinking of it in terms of “but what is she going to stuff me with?”, and start thinking in terms of just enjoying another woman’s body.  That would be awesome.  It would be nice, I think, to find a woman who would be interested in dating both Michael and myself, but that would mean looking for a Unicorn, and that is a challenge in itself.  Besides, I’m still waiting for a boyfriend 😉  (And no, neither of the cuties have emailed, yet.)