February 22, 2008

Who we Are (And who we Aren’t)

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 5:56 pm by Kathleen

Before I get deeply into what has been going on with poly in my life, I really feel that it is important to talk about who I am and who I am not, and the same for my husband. We are young. I am 22 and he is 26, and we were a year younger when we started with all of this. We have a D/s relationship, which means domination (him) and submission (me), but he has never used that as a lever to force me into any of this. When it comes to our relationship, we are equals. Always.

I am a new mom (my baby is 5 months old, and yes, he is my husband’s), a business owner, and a very strong and independent woman. I’ve had issues in the past with jealousy and clinginess, and although it took me 5 years or so, I worked steadily to get rid of them. I don’t like feeling that way! My husband has never had that problem. He is confident and sure of himself when it comes to me, and although I have always been a flirt, he has never worried about me cheating (nor has he had cause to).

We are responsible adults, mortgage and all. We are not cheaters, sex addicts, or abusive to each other. We have a loving and happy relationship. In fact, at the moment neither of us is seeing anyone else, and that is fine, too. We have a wonderful sex life, we laugh together, and I have never been happier or wanted to be with anyone more than I do/am with him.

Something important to note: Neither of us had ever had sex with anyone else. We lost our virginities to each other when we were engaged, and neither of us ever planned to have sex with anyone else. Ever. But on with the story.

So if this is not about desperation or escaping a sucky marriage, then what is it about? It’s about love. Seriously.

I love my husband so much, that I can allow him to experience a connection with other people without the fear that he will not come back to me when he is done. This is going to get long, so I’ll go into it more tomorrow.