About Polyspace

I am by no means perfect, and I am not exactly trying to be.  What I am trying to do is to share my experiences and my emotions with the world.  Poly is hard, and it is emotionally intense.  To become poly is to commit yourself to something special, but something difficult, too.  If you are interested in polyamory, then please read and see if my own journey can help you avoid some of the rocky patches in your own journey.

You can also learn about me at KathleenTudor.com.


  1. Interesting. Not that I’d be one for that lifestyle myself but it’s interesting to hear the thoughts of one committed to it

  2. sexplory said,

    I’m going to add you as a link to my sexplory blog, I think your wisdom is a great addition for those that are learning about their path of sexuality (such as myself)!

  3. Kathleen said,

    Sexplory, I thank you very much. 🙂

  4. 🙂

  5. sydneyelephant said,

    I would like to make an amendment here. I believe the experience we acquire when exploring polyamory become invaluable when dealing with any kind of relationship, be it polyamory, monogamy or even one’s relationship with oneself. Polyamory forces us to look hard on one’s own relationship with the others and the world. Polyamory forces us to be understanding, tolerant and communicative where most people would just break up right away, or not even go there. And believe it or not, it also forces us to become more intentional and selective when choosing partners. Because not anyone is fit for that kind of commitment.

    I don’t know if I’ll be polyamorous for the rest of my life. What I can say is that going through it made me a better person, and possibly a better lover, in the emotional sense.

  6. Hi Kathleen ,

    I love your blog and am so glad I’ve found it. Having just embarked on a polyamorous relationship for the first time, I find it invaluable to have resources like this to refer to when I’m struggling with all the new experiences and emotions – particularly as I can’t really discuss it with friends/family yet.

    I’m going to link to your blog from mine (polyamorist.blogspot.com) – you have a new avid reader!

  7. Kathleen said,

    Thank you for the wonderful comments! Welcome!!

  8. cydira said,

    My goodness! Kathleen, I am so very reassured by the warmth and kindness I see you write with in your blog. My husband and I have had our relationship evolve into an open one and it’s been a bit of a steep learning curve for myself. I really do find your most recent post to be quite wonderful, as I’ve been finding myself worrying at times how this could impact how we raise our son. Thank you so much for posting up this beautiful blog!

    ~ Cydira

  9. Adrienne said,


    I just found your blog and I’m appreciating it very much. Thanks!

  10. Giselle said,

    I guess if you meant poly meaning doing it with many people and then sticking with one.. i guess im not poly… but basically, i still havent got hold of the idea of poly… :/

  11. Hello sexplory,

    You talk about your weblog. What is the url of your weblog. Maybey it’s worth to mention it on my link directory about polyamory (in Dutch polyamorie).



    Pieter Schultz

  12. Kathleen said,


    Absolutely, positively NOT! I’ve never “done it” with anyone but my husband. Ever.

  13. Sarah said,

    Hey there Kathleen!

    I work with Tristan Taormino on her web updates, and I just wanted to drop you a line to see if you’d be willing to add a reciprocal link to her website, http://www.openingup.net to your blogroll.


  14. David said,

    Love seeing the effort that people spend on poly positivity, and getting our lifestyles out into the main stream.
    Myself and my mates primary of 22 years and new secondary. (in description only) I’d Disagree that poly is anymore difficult that a monotonous relationship. Honest and Open communication is necessary in any relationship. There is Work to any relationship, and keeping relationships going requires Work, ie. more relationships, more work. But the rewards so far out strip the amount of work needed to keep every body on the same page. There is nothing better than the feeling of love you give and receive from multiple partners. The sharing of duties that frees up more time for sharing other wonderful gifts that life has to offer. Even the sharing of pooled finances that allows you to live a better lifestyle. Better vacations, and the extras niceties that make life ,extraordinary.
    Thanks for what you do.
    David, Sue & Becky

  15. stingrae said,


    I would like to interview you for a piece I am doing on polyamory. I identify as poly, and I am trying to write something to reach a mainstream audience from the vantage point of someone who understands wanting to explore and seeing the benefits of both sides, as well as feeling a strong pull in both directions.

    I found your blog through a long list of links, and it looks like we share a similar background on wanting to write not from a prescriptive place, but from an experience-sharing one.

    I am currently a student at Portland State University studying book publishing through the university’s graduate writing program.

    If you have time to participate in a short interview/series of questions, I would be really grateful. You can reach me through my wordpress blog, if you are interested or have any further questions.

    Thank you for your time,

  16. Thank you thank you thank you for your sharing on this very difficult subject!
    I just discovered your blog but will be back often.

    Please take a look at mine too; I am an anti-pornographic artist in the sense that I’m trying to bring a new, more gentle perspective to sexuality through my writing and drawings.



    I feel quite relieved to find you here today… A little less alone in my cause.
    xo Victoria

  17. Myrddwn said,

    I’ve been lurking around here for a while, adding the odd post now and then.
    It’s nice to be able to read about the problems and joys of other poly people. Non professional ones, if I may. Poly’s who are just regular people, rather than ones who run local poly groups or swinger weekends, you know the type.
    I also just started up my own poly blog with a friend, if any body is interested.

  18. monica gallego said,

    So happy to have found ur blog. Been poly all my life. Currently in an all female triad working everyday to make it work. Always positive and hungry for growth but what we ve been missing is a supportive commty and some guidance. Thanks for writing about this. 🙂

    • Kathleen said,

      I am so happy to hear from you! Please make yourself welcome and feel free to ask whatever questions you like – as you can see, I try to be very open and as helpful as I can be.

  19. Hi!
    I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award. This blogger-to-blogger award has a few rules if you choose to accept, and you can read them all here: http://polysingleish.wordpress.com/2013/01/14/the-liebster-award/

    Love reading your work! Thankyou for all your words.


  20. Tam said,

    I am so happy that I found your blog… Made my day. ❤

  21. E said,

    My best friend and I are in love, and he asked me to accept a poly relationship with him. He has a don’t-ask-don’t-tell gf who is aware he is poly. She’s his “public” gf. However, he can’t “come out” as poly to friends or family, and in light of his future career plans, so I have to remain a secret. Poly is new to me, and I’m trying to overcome feelings of jealousy and insecurity, let alone feelings of being inferior because I have to remain a secret. I really love him and want to work on accepting his poly nature, but I struggle with secrecy. I can’t tell anyone I’m seeing this wonderful guy. Plus, I would face never having a family with him in the future, and I question his commitment to me should his career take him out of my area. I’m so lost on what to do. Could you please offer some advice?

    • Kathleen said,

      I’m very sorry to tell you that I simply do not see a way for this to end happily for you. Secrecy and poly rarely mix well, and a “don’t ask don’t tell” relationship like you’re describing seems bound to end in disaster, especially if–no, WHEN–the girlfriend sees a little more than she wants. Your boyfriend is in it for himself and nothing else. He’s not treating his girlfriend with respect, and he’s not making sure your needs are met. The best advice I can give you is to back away from the friendship altogether before you get really badly burned.

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