May 28, 2012
Finally Getting Out There
Saturday night was ladies night at a local gay club, and I am finally feeling so ready to meet people…
My night started a little too early when only a few couples in their fifties were at the club, shortly after opening. I hung out downstairs and chatted with a man I met, instead. He was definitely gay, but I guess a little lonely and he kept buying me drinks. I spent more time than I meant to listening to him talk (even if I tried to talk, he wasn’t really listening back, so I let him chatter). Eventually, I managed to get away. Upstairs was wild by that time, with loud music and women’s bodies moving mostly to the beat on the dance floor. I was tipsy already, so I waded out into the dancers and started to move to the music on my own. It was exhilarating and fun, and soon a woman waved me over and we danced together.
I’m completely new to clubbing, so there are still things to learn. Like how to gracefully switch partners if you spot someone more your type. I did manage to extract myself from the clutches of two different Very Drunk Older Women by claiming a need for water, but I’d float away if I did that every time I wanted to switch partners. 🙂
I danced until I was drenched in sweat, and then made my way outside onto the patio for some air. It felt great, and I soon found myself chatting with a trio of friends. The one I was most attracted to was straight (damn!) but soon the two straight women had drawn off into their own conversation to give me room with their friend. She wasn’t what I am normally attracted to, physically, but she was sweet and interesting and had a tattoo very similar to mine, which was intriguing. We chatted and flirted and I explained my home situation to her and she explained about her cheating ex. We ended up kissing, and it was not the best kiss of my life, but it turned me on in a pure, physical way that I have been missing with Michael for a while now. His kisses are affection and comfort and love, but they don’t stoke that fire in me. Hers were pure arousal and it was exciting to find that.
In the end we exchanged phone numbers, but in the morning light I realized that I was much more interested in her as a friend than as a potential girlfriend, and her self-esteem issues were a HUGE red flag for me. I asked her out for coffee to be polite and to keep from damaging her fragile self further, and she politely shot me down because in the end, she wants monogamy. What a relief!
Yes, I still have a lot to learn… but it seems like I’m going to have some serious fun learning it.
Blessings,
Kathleen
May 24, 2012
I’m Not Watching Her Kid!
Michael has been chatting with a nice young lady (she’s a year younger than me, so I think I can officially call her that) on a dating site, and the time has come… They’re going to meet! It has, you may have noticed, been a LONG time since either of us has dated any, so this was a sort of big deal and I am getting emotionally used to the idea, again, of sharing him. Their first meeting is to be a get-to-know you while our kid (4) and hers (5) play together, no hanky-panky.
And suddenly it occurs to me what a convenient solution that might be for them – let Kathleen watch the kids, after all, they play great together! And we’ll go have a romantic dinner. My first, intense, knee-jerk, nut kicking reaction is “OMG NO!” And this before the idea has even been conceived of by anyone but me. Pretty intense, but upon further inspection, not unreasonable. (And before I get too much farther into this post I just want to say, I’m not saying I’d never watch her kid, but it would have to be after I had gotten to know and like HER, and after she and her child were an established and steady part of our lives.)
The thing is, when Michael and Becky were dating, I was a facilitator. My needs became secondary as I smoothed the road and made sure that all obstacles to their togetherness were removed where possible, despite the fact that this was neither my responsibility nor my role (or should not have been). Becky, who claimed all the “poly experience” should have known better and asked me to back off, but that is neither here nor there. The fact is, babysitting a kid I barely know so that my husband can go have a romantic evening with a woman I barely know… It’s wonderfully convenient for them, but unless she’s paying me $10 an hour, it’s definitely putting my needs and wants below the establishment and growth of their relationship.
Logically, we have kids the same age and if I’m watching one kid, why not two? But emotions are a very different matter, as are perceptions (I don’t exactly want my husband’s new girlfriend to see me as the nanny or the pushover or the person to use for her convenience!) And for that reason, unless she becomes a serious partner of Michael’s and unless she and I (and her KID and I! And her kid and MY kid!) get along, she’s just going to have to call a sitter.
Heck, logically we should all just live with our parents for the rest of our lives and save the money on rent, but sometimes you just have to think of yourself. 🙂
Blessings,
Kathleen
May 22, 2012
A Sexy Poly Story Available Now!
You may have noticed, if you have been around a while, that I recently started promoting my writing on this blog. Those posts are gone now, as I want to stay true to the audience and intention for which this blog was built, and that is to chronicle my poly journey and to connect with the poly community!
That said, I’ll still happily promote it when one of my poly-friendly stories is published!
Tricks for Kicks is available NOW from Xcite press! Click on the link to buy it now or Look Inside with Amazon!
This anthology contains a story that some of you might find extra-spicy… a male/female/male menage. Check out this hot excerpt!
Adam stepped forward until her body was pressed between both of theirs, and Jenna’s breath was coming in quick pants of excitement. “My buddy Nate, here, would really like to fuck you,” he said. Jenna whimpered as her clit seemed to twitch against the tight fabric.
“And while I’m doing that, Adam would love it if you’d suck his cock,” Nate said from behind her. His erection was pressed firmly into her ass, and she could also feel Nate’s straining against her belly.
“But if you don’t want to do those things, right here, right now, then you should leave. Because Greece is going to be way too much to handle if you don’t even want tonight.”
She’d almost forgotten about Greece. To prove it, Jenna decided that actions would speak louder than words. She dropped to her knees in front of Adam, and her fingers tore at his pants until his cock sprung free. As she sucked it into her mouth, both she and Adam released pent up moans of pleasure and desire…
Want more? Pick up a copy of Tricks for Kicks today!
Also, if you want to follow my publishing career and check out some of the other things I’ve written, check out KathleenTudor.com, my brand new site, hot off the presses!
Polyamory from the Inside Out 