August 9, 2010
A Free Sexy Story by Yours Truly
If you’re interested in kinky sex, check out my short story at The Erotic Woman. Hopefully there will be more coming soon.
April 12, 2010
Saying Goodbye
I am very sad to say that the space I have been using for my BDSM play for the last several years – ever since I got started, really – is closing. An officious woman with the planning council got offended at their business license, and managed to pull the right strings to require the city to force the dungeon to get certain expensive evaluations. Like rats, many regular players fled the scene rather than spend any of their own precious money on saving their space, and the occasional players like myself were overwhelmed with the task of raising the necessary money. I, like many, did what I could, but sadly it was not enough, and the space will close at the end of this month.
I am really going to miss our space. The public play is exciting and fun, and a lot safer than meeting strange men at their homes or a hotel room, not that I can even afford regular hotel stays. The space was lovely, with a great atmosphere and a community that I will also miss. Not sure what will fill the void, if anything, but I will probably always be nostalgic for my first space.
I will be heading out this weekend with my new playmate, Pet to give it our final farewell. He doesn’t know it is closing yet, and I don’t plan on telling him until we get there, but I will make sure that it is a night he remembers. I think we’re going to have a fantastic time wishing the space a fond farewell.
March 30, 2010
When it Rains
It sure has been pouring in my life lately! After three years of being poly, I officially have my first boyfriend, Matt. We went on our first date, and although we are both super busy people, we’ve been tickling our schedules into submission. I get to see him again on Friday (we think). He’s going through the final negotiations with his lady wife tonight. I’m not sure what we’ll be doing, probably just hanging out again.
My romance with him is going nicely, so of course now is also the time when I finally find a playmate worthy of enjoying in the BDSM club. My husband tops me, but I am a switch, and boy have I been in need of a chew toy. Or maybe a scratching post. Whatever it is I need, Michael is just very glad that I have found Pet and no longer feel the need to gnaw on him at every opportunity (yes, I’m odd, but you already knew that).
Pet was very nervous and almost didn’t show, but I think that we are both glad he did. The dungeon was hosting a sampler night so that people can see demos of various methods of play, and he showed a lot of interest in caning, which was neat. He also got a little doe eyed at the sight of my flogger, and asked me to play. Woohoo! He can take a good amount of pain, is willing to go for more, and is the perfect sub for taking out my sadistic tendencies. Plus he is totally new to kink, so I get to train him up from scratch.
I was also messaged out of the blue by a sub that I had talked to months ago. He was sort of a creep and he vanished, but now he’s back and ready for action. He has been blocked. Two good men are quite enough for now, especially since they are both new to me. Anyway, men who love drama are just… ugh.
Blessings,
Kathleen
June 14, 2009
I need a Nap
It has been an up and down weekend. We made plans and then cancelled them 4-5 times before the weekend even got here for a wide range of reasons, so it was kind of confusing to get to Saturday and have nothing to do. In fact, I spent part of the day sort of anxious because I felt like we were late for something. After that I started getting restless and cranky. We figured out sometime before the day was out that topping Rae was sort of like opening up a door – I had never topped anyone before, and now my toppy urges/needs are no longer locked securely in Pandora’s Box, so I am feeling very strange.
Michael offered to let me top him, but it doesn’t work for me. I am a switch, but he isn’t just a toppy person, he’s Master. Plus, I like things (like pain) that he does not, so I would either have to hold myself back quite a bit or do things to him that he did not enjoy, neither of which appeal to me at all. I actually felt worse after he offered, but we snuggled and felt better.
Today was another angsty day, but I think this time it was because of the steadily growing mass of plastic toys all over the house. The baby likes to spread his blocks to and fro, and you can’t move without stepping on them. Michael and baby went to hang with some family tonight, and I went on a housewide cleaning spree (more of a picking-up spree). I feel better now. But I still want to hit someone.
Blessings,
Kathleen
May 25, 2009
OMG A Date that went WELL! (And Lots of Firsts!)
This weekend I discovered through first hand, personal experience that:
a) I am definitely bi-sexual
b) I am definitely a switch
c) Sex with other women is indeed both desirable AND fun in an entirely different way than sex with Michael is
d) By extension of item c, I have also confirmed that I am definitely poly.
I had a lovely play date with Rae and Robert, and fun was had all around. The first half was mostly kinky play and not very sexual (I mean, there was kissing and caressing, but it was not “having sex”, it was just play). Afterward we all piled up for a group snuggle, and… well, someone got frisky… I’m not even sure WHO got frisky at first, but we quickly devolved into a writhing mass of limbs. It was very sexual and not very play-y, and more fun was had.
I didn’t actually have sex with Rob, especially since neither of us had talked about the possibility, but I did have sex with Rae and Rob and Rae also had sex while I petted, played, kissed, and eventually flogged. Oh, flogging Rae while she was having sex with Rob… HOT. Rae, thank him again for the flogging lesson for me, would ya? 🙂
I am really comforted that it seemed like all three of us had a really good time. Rae was also really excited, since it was her first poly experience and her first bi experience as well. We went for food afterward, and she was expressing how nice and how surprising it was to her that she just had “casual sex with a casual acquaintance” and that nothing was strange or uncomfortable. There was, as she put it, no loss of possibility. We could still be friends, fuck buddies, or play partners, or lovers, and nothing was off limits or totally crazy just because we had sex. And best of all, there were three very happy people in the car, and no one was angry about any of it. Whee!
Fun note: The first and only time Michael had sex with Becky, it was on our couch, and I was upstairs in bed. This weekend, while we were playing and having sex, it was in their bed, and Michael was asleep on the couch. Symmetry makes me smile.
Blessings,
Kathleen
May 17, 2009
Getting Excited
I’m not sure if this might be considered more swinging, or poly, or even just a play date, but I am heading up to visit with Rae and her boyfriend, and a week from today, the beatings will commence. I think that I mentioned that Rae is a submissive. I am a switch, and her boyfriend is dominant, so the three of us plan on having a play day/night to help her get used to the idea of poly, and to have a lot of fun at the same time. Robert, her boyfriend, is going to teach me to throw a flogger (no, not pitch it at her, throwing is the term for hitting a person with the tails), among other things.
We’ve spent the last week talking about limits, rules, and comfort zones, and I am very happy to say that Rae’s hard limits are dropping like flies. *grin* I would not push a person to do something that they didn’t really want to or couldn’t handle, but I have already started experimenting with topping her over the computer chats, and she responds really well. I felt chemistry with her when we spent time together, and I think the three of us will have a good time.
I also may be getting closer to Robert than I had expected. I’m not exactly attracted to him physically, but he is a great guy, and a really interesting one, so I can see him growing on me. I may be making out with him over the course of the weekend, too, as a sort of experiment so that Rae can see how she feels about him interacting with another woman like that. All in all it should prove to be a pretty exciting and action-packed weekend.
Blessings,
Kathleen
June 9, 2008
Negotiation
I’m sorry that my writing has been unsteady for the last week. I just had a week of insomnia, and then this weekend I was as geeked out as can be. I was at a LAN party on Saturday (for those who don’t know, LAN stands for Local Area Network, and all that means is that six of us loaded our computers into our cars, drove to a central location, and then unloaded them and set them up to play video games together) and then on Sunday I was roleplaying. Shadowrun, in case you are interested.
I’ve been talking to the lovely Domme who wants to play with me, and it seems like we have a lot in common. She’s 15 years older than me, which is about my mental limit, but I think that limit applies more to guys than gals anyway. Is it just me, or do women age better? Maybe I just think that women look nicer in general anyway.
The lady… Hmmm, I shall call her… Red. Red is a very nice, very intelligent person, and it looks like we can have some fun together. I just sent her a very long summary of how we (Michael and I) got into kink and poly.
For those of you who have been commenting lately… thank you a ton! It means so much to me to come to my computer and see a message of support or just to hear that someone had something interesting to say.
You guys are the reason that I do this! And you’ll all be first or maybe second to know when and if Red and I decide to head beyond negotiation and into having a bit of fun together. It looks like this could turn into more than a play relationship, which is what I really want. YAY!
Blessings,
Kathleen
June 6, 2008
Why I might Date a Dom after All
When I was thinking of dating doms, I was thinking of every male dom that I have ever met (my husband aside). I hadn’t really thought about female doms at all. There happens to be one that engages in most of the kinds of play that I have wanted to try but haven’t been able to, including flogging and the violet wand.
She has mostly seemed ambivalent to me, but the last time I saw her we had a good chat, and when I ran across her dating site profile, she noticed and sent me an email. Apparently she was backing way off because her sub showed an interest in me, but since the sub, who switches, is not my type, it looks like this lady dom and I will be playing together at least. Whee!
Blessings,
Kathleen
June 4, 2008
A Concern…
First off, for Rosemerry: A BDSM Quiz
There are other ones there as well. Try searching the Quiz site for “BDSM personality”.
Now for the concern: I have huge bruises on my legs and cuts on my back from the party last Saturday. Don’t get me wrong, I love that! My problem is: will another guy like seeing his girlfriend bruised up by her husband?
I’m very picky in a partner, in part because I feel like I really have to be. I mean, I could just go downtown and date the first guy I see, but that would probably not work out so well. In addition to my preferences, I have to find a guy who is willing to play second fiddle, who is willing to accept that if there is EVER sex, it won’t be anytime soon, that I have a family that comes first, AND that my husband beats me.
See, there’s no such thing as consensual violence in California. If I meet a guy who falls head over heels for me and sees the marks as abuse, then all he has to do is blow the whistle and my husband could be facing prosecution from the state, even if I refuse to testify. Mr. X may see himself as protecting me, but his “protection” could serious screw up my life.
Layers within layers… dating gets exponentially more difficult when you add things like babies, poly, and BDSM. 🙂
Blessings,
Kathleen
June 3, 2008
Why I don’t want to date a dom
Pretty much the ONLY place I socialize anymore is at the dungeon, which lends itself to one small problem… you see, I have pretty much ruled out dating a dom, and two subs dating can get pretty boring.
Why is that you ask? Well, I have a dom. My husband is my Master, and I am very happy with this collaring arrangement. I don’t mind playing with other doms, but once they get to the “let’s be partners” stage, they start thinking about things (and I am being general here, so don’t yell at me if you’re the exception to this rule) things like collaring. I have a collar, thanks.
Doms are kind of possessive by nature, and while that isn’t a bad thing, many of them do NOT like to share someone that they are seriously involved with.
A sub on the other hand… I am pretty subby, but I have been getting toppy tendencies that leads me to believe that I might be able to dom the right person eventually. The problem is, I am picky about guys, and I would be REALLY picky about subs. There are very few men who can properly cower in a ways that doesn’t totally turn me off. 😉 Not sure what that way is, but I’ve only met a couple of sub men that I thought I could actually enjoy playing with. Maybe one day I’ll actually take the reins.
In the mean time… thanks for reading! 😉
Blessings,
Kathleen
Polyamory from the Inside Out 